A Post for Anyone Who Has Asked: "Is My Vulva 'Normal'?"

By Corin Kennedy, LMFT

Have you ever looked at your vulva in the mirror and questioned if it was supposed to look like that? Or maybe you’ve been anxious to look at your vulva in fear that it might not be “normal”?  If so, keep on reading!!

When the only images we see of vulvas are limited or curated, it's easy to start wondering “is mine normal?” This question can open the door to judgments, which can impact the relationship we have with our body. And spoiler: the way we feel about our bodies does not magically disappear during sex! 

This might look like (but not limited to):

  • Keeping the lights off

  • Avoiding certain positions

  • Worried about your partner seeing your body

  • Feeling distracted

  • Difficulty soaking up the pleasure

The more we can understand that our bodies are incredibly diverse, the easier it becomes to replace judgment and make room for pleasure and connection. 

One of the most visible and diverse parts of the vulva is the labia. The labia are the folds of skin that surround the vaginal opening. There are two sets: the labia majora, or outer lips, which protect the labia minora, clitoris, vaginal opening and urethra. The labia minora, or inner lips, protect the vagina and urethra. Fun fact: the labia minora is also a sensory superstar. It's full of nerve endings for sensation and helps your body produce lubrication during sex. 

Let’s be real, most people were not taught or shown that labia come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Leaving the internet, porn, comments from others, or maybe a book to fill in the blanks (and none of those accurately portray the full range of what's actually normal).In efforts to normalize the vast range of labias, skip the porn (although we do appreciate ethical porn) and check out The Labia Library to get an idea of what is “normal”. 

https://www.labialibrary.org.au/

The Labia Library will make you wonder why we are not screaming this from the roof tops! Instead of treating vulvar anatomy as taboo, it provides easily accessible and straightforward information. You’ll find anatomy, resources, and real photos that represent a range of bodies and experiences through skin tones, genders, sizes, pregnancy/postpartum, and menopause and/or peri-menopause experiences. 

Check it out for yourself!! 

Amy FreierSpark Chicago Therapy